Vacations!

Happy Greetings, Homer fans!

I hope that you all, ah... has a good, you know—summer, eh... so far. Mrs. Homer and I have the kids to taken back, uh... Sweden, for the vacations, you know? From the school? It's nice to have the times to practice my working with, eh... woods, and picking the berries with, ah... Mule, you know... sometime.

Right now we in, eh... Molle, which is you know, club? With the beaches? Eh... Resort, you know? Tomorrow Hank gonna get, ah... married to the Emma, so we all here—Me, and Nick, and Mrs. Nick, and, eh... Kronner, and Lils. You know, all of us? Good to see them in the, ah... summertimes, and today we all, ah... we go swimming, you know? The Emma make us all the, uh... one suits, I think they called? And we all look like we go to jail. I don't know why there was, ah... so many people with cameras, but I think maybe it's joke? I hoped the pictures don't, you know... end up on the computers, so I had Mrs. Homer take one, ah... for me to show for you.

What do you think?

I hope we see a whole, ah... many of you at the camps for training. We all real excited to see you again soon!

Homer 

Contracts and Campers

Hello Homer fans!

I apologies for it been so, uh... long since I write last to, ah, you know... all you. I still real uh... sad, you know? About season eh... ending? But today I settle on, eh... my new, uh—you know, dealings? Have not fear, Homerfans! I will be here in the Joe Louis for, ah... at least another two seasons!

Only one thing weird with, ah... today's goodness: there a small group of, you know... girls? And I think they making, eh... camps on my front yards. They have the, ah... tents, and some bags for sleeping, and Mrs. Homer say they starting, uh... fires for cooking. I think they really glad I stay in Detroit again.

I was gonna call the, ah... you know... police, but they give little Homer children the, ah... treats with chocolates and the Graham's cracker. I wait until after we eat, uh... dinners and I gonna get them to makes treats for me, you know?

I think we, ah... let them stay.

Feel like I'm in zoo, NHL!

Hello Homer fans,

U know it's good to be here, because being here means we beat Coyotes.  Was good series, everyone play hard, good to win like that, for sure.

Now we are here in San Jose, its nice place, for sure, but can't wait to get back home.  Plane come in too late they say, then they will fine us.  Silly, I think, but u know, we have 2 get here and now we are here and will be ready to play, for sure.  Fine not so big deal, of course, Illitch pays it, sorry for him, but he know we need to be ready.

So yes tonight Sharks game time is at 9 at home and 6 here and 9 and 6 are numbers I like very much, for sure!  Is good sign, maybe a goal for me tonight?  Haha. I will tell u, for sure, that I am ready for one.

 Some guys have good goals in Phoenix for sure.  Pasha's very pretty.  Stuie very funny, because he almost fall, but then he score on boxplay, and I think, ahhhh was very killer for Coyotes.

All these teams with the animal names.  I feel like I am in zoo, NHL, hahahaa.  I kid.  For sure.
 
Getting really hungry for some Swedish food, is worst thing about road, you know, ahhhh, have to find IKEA to get Bilar Candy Cars and some fish soon.

 

Must win in dessert

Hi fans.  Is not 2 good of day for me, for sure.  We lose yesterday, but u know that u r fans.  So is back to desert for game 7.  Game 7 they not feel so kind to me, you know?  Its ahhh tough situation, for sure.  But we do we can is can win, is what we do.

U r such good fans 2 us. We can ahhh, hopefully beat dessert dogs and then back home 2 wife and kids 4 fun and goodtimes.  But 4 now focus on Game for sure!

- Homer



o yea.  Lills help me again, to be ah, you know, internet hip.  So read his blog for sure.  It's on official site 4 playoffs.

Happy Game 5 Ending!!!

Hello, fans of Red Wings and Homer! Very glad to have good game after, ah, not so much good in second period. I not ever try to score goal like Jovanovski of Phoenix. Mostly I try with other side of Homer toward goalie.

That song about "most good good night?" or something, you know? That's how I feel, for sure. It very nice to get, ah, game winner because that mean we win game! It was goal of, ah, strangeness that stick on my, ah, elbow arm crease? but it count with even no reviewings. I whacked at it a couple times and it go in! Pavel help me out much with that and then one minutes later Pav score goal with helpings from me and Mule! Very happy to make good plays on line with old friends, for sure.

You understand "bromance"? Young guys like Helm and Abby say this for me and Pavel tonight and they laugh and laugh. I, ah, not understanding so much. No romance because we both have wifes and childrens.

Very exciting to go back to play in Detroit on Sunday!!!

Thank U Homerfans!

--Tomas

Visit to Phoenix Again

Eh, hello fans!

I am blogging from bar in Phoenix. Many Red Wings teammates are here watching many overtime game on TV. Playoff hockey is much fun for sure! We have big game tomorrow, so early bedtime, but ahhh is nice to go out and be friendly with guys.

One ehh thing. There is a man here taking pictures of us on phone. I think I see him early afternoon also, you know. Seems ahh odd? Stalker is right word for this? Or maybe he ehhhh is like ahhh crazy photo men who follow celebrities? I don't think we are this famous, however. Maybe perhaps in Sweden.

Many hopes that we have good game tomorrow!
Till then,
Homer

Big Win Last Night!!

We make big win yesterday!! Now we are go back to Phoenix to ah play in desert building again. Jimmy got first playoff shutout yesterday by not allowing any Coyote puck in net. Bravo for sure! Ehhh Hank and Pavel also scored goals to help us make victory. We must keep playing strong next game too so we can win series and ah play next round.

Our Joe was so loud last night. Thank you fans for coming to cheer at us! It means much to all teammates you know. During warmups, some girls offered me free candy. I wanted to go eat it, but Nick tell me I must focus on game. He said candy must wait until after end of play. I was sad. Chewy Candy Cars are Swedish specialty and my most favorite of all time for sure. It is good luck that I have many at home for celebration feast after strong win!

Ehhhhh I must stop blogging now. I think I hear first ice cream truck of summer in neighborhood! I must run fast to catch it.

Homer

Ask Homer more!

Hello fans of Homer! It very nice to be, ah... back home at Detroit! We win very, you know... excited game last night with, uh... Phoenix, so it very funny for me to write you today! Mrs. Homer and me, we, ah... take the childrens to eat curly fries at, uh... the Arby's when I get home from Hank's hattricks which is nice. I think Hank should be always buying dinner, because, you know... he make more money than I do, and he, ah... don't have his kids yet, for sure.  

Here a few questions that the, ah... fans email to answer by me.

Dear Homer: Your "office" at the Joe is probably your favorite, but do you have a special "office" in any other arena?

--For sure, you know...ah...I feel like we play in Pittsburgh almost as much as we play home...uh, you know...the last few years. I used to like play in Chicago, you know, because Khabibulin and I... ah.. shared office there. You know, I think he didn't... eh... like it as much as, you know... I do.

Dear Homer: Do Swedish fish have bones; and are the bones also made out of candy so I can eat them without worrying?

--You know, ah... Swedish fish... they, uh... aren't fish really. No bones in the Swedish candy that I... uh know. For sure, I think, uh... you're ok to eat whole fishes. I wouldn't worry, you know?

Dear Homer: Do you ask your wife "do these pants make my butt look big?" and then dress for games accordingly?

--For sure, sometime I feel like, ah... my butt look kind of, you know... large. Everyone want to look, ah... you know, nice while they work. Usually, I uh...ask Drapes or, you know... Nick, because my wife, ah... she laugh at me.

Homer: What's your favorite ABBA song to karaoke to?

--Hard to pick, for sure, you know? In Sweden, everybody love ABBA! My favorite is, ah... you know, Dancing Queen, but I no sing it very, eh... good, you know? Sometime at parties, Hank and me... we sing, ah... Fernando. Nick always trying to get me to, ah... sing... with him Mamma Mia, you know... duets? So it hard to pick, for sure. I like them all a lots.

 Dear Homer: What kind of woodworking projects will you be attempting this summer??

--For sure, I don't like to, ah... too own horns, but, uh... I pretty good at working wood. I don't get to do as much as, ah... when I lived home in, you know... Sweden, but I've got some pretty plans for the summer. At home, I make bird house, ah... furniture, and stuffs for Mrs. Homer to use in the house. These are some of the, uh... projects I think doing this year (I hope you likes them!):

Picture frame, for, ah... your pictures, you know? (That not my horse.) 

 

A box for putting uh... jewels in.

A little house, maybe? 

Hoping see everyone tomorrow at the Joe Louis!

Homer! 

1-1 Series and Curlyfries

Hello fans of 96!!!! Maybe you are sleeping after lateness of Wings victory, for sure. Ahh, that game look not-so-good for beginnings but we pull out major split in series and score many goals. (None goals with my end, though.) I make one point in the aiding of Pavel, for sure, but all weterans step up and make big plays. And young Abby, you know, who spend much time in Grand Rapids made several hit and, ah, real good goal. Two goal for Val and hattrick for Zata, for sure, bring all Detroit fanbase much happiness. (And curlyfried potato, you know!!!)

Tomorrow Coyotes come to our Joe Louis Arena, for sure. Is nice, ah, to play them in our building. As well, ah, all Phoenix player who come to Detroit should go get curlyfries with boxscore!!! Team bus could stop at one of local Arby's locations and all could go wait in line for tasty eatings! If I saw I would laugh and laugh hahahahahahaha!!!!

See U later Homerfans,


Homer

I make bet with u

I make bet with Nick and also with Nik and also with Mule, I score goal tonight off  butt. Lills says "u" not "you" is way to spell it on web. I ahhhh, not so sure.  But, U think I can do it?  Score goal. Maybe on boxplay.  I can, for sure.

Stupid Rumors

Good morning to fans in Detroit and, you know... ah... all over the place!

Yesterday was nice day; ah... weather here in Arizona is, you know... very nice. We get to play our, eh... soccer practicing outside. It, you know... remind me of going out after, ah, lunch... during school... you know, recess? And, you know... there a lots of uh... Wings fans here, so eh... that's real nice to us, too, for sure.

I was on phone before, ah... practice yesterday with friend, you know... at home... and he tell me that, ah... people saying that Blues gonna try to get me, ah... during summer to come play for them, you know... next season? I hope nobody, ah... you know... believe that crap. I not gonna, ah... leave Detroit. I like being, eh... Red Wings, and you know, my family, uh... they like it here a lot, and I get to play with, ah... my best friend Nick, you know? Do they even have, uh... ice festival in St. Louis? And you know, Ozzie tell me that it, uh... really hard to get candy there.

Tonight we have, ah... game two with Phoenix, for sure. Why they throw, you know... rubber snake?

Till next time,

Homer!

Goal Scored, but Game Lost

I worry earlier today because NHL issued memo warning about goalie interference. Every playoff they send warning meant for me and we lose goals because I have ahhhhh “reputation.” I don’t think it is fair, you know, but I find way to do job in Office anyway. Then ahhhhh first powerplay of series is for goalie interference. But it is against Phoenix. I laugh very hard at this for sure. But then I take penalty on powerplay. Lucky that Coyote goes off with me so we still have advantage.

Also I score goal. Hahahaha, I watch tape during intermission, and have no idea how it went in net. I don’t score on shots that way often, you know. Ahhh, feel very good though to start playoff scoring.

Ahhhh, sad that Coyotes come back to win game. We need to play better next game, for sure. Phoenix leads series now, but there is still much time to make series win.

Sincerely,
Homer

White Out?

I have been reading on internet so much talk of this, ahhh, 'White Off' in the stands at jobber.com arena here in, you know, Phoenix. I don't understand this because ahhhh we will be the team wearing white for sure!

Time for morning skate. Hopefully there is no snakes, you know? Hahah!

Homer big in Canada!!!

I hear they say my name on the TSN tv of Canada, for sure. They say referees, ah, they going to look for my end in the crease doing interfering. That is always concerning for me, aah, when they say Homer doing interfering when it's not there. But I am veteran with the ass end, ah, and make good plays from Office with no interference. (One goal for sure this year came from way back by blue line!! I waited for seeing officials try to call that for interference of goalie.)

Now is time for sleeping before HUGE Game 1 tomorrow, though, for sure.

Thanks for you good fans reading,


Homer

P.S. What is all this talk of casting the snake?

We going to Phoenix, for sure

Today we play good game against Chicago, for sure. Overtime goal by Stuie give us win!

And I get a goal! First they try to give goal to Raffi, but it was me who tip it in!! It matter they get it right, you know, but in hard game against rival it more important that a goals count.

Excited to meet young Coyotes in desert for first round of playoffs!!!! (Not dessert like cake. Swedish have more different words for these things, for sure. Ya know, ahh, "efterrätt" is tasty eatings after main eating. Hot dryness is "öken".)

But dessert would be good for playoffs, too.

Ask Homer

The fans email me a lots of... uhh... questions, so I answer them here now for everyone to read, I think.

Dear Homer: Boxers or Briefs?

From Kris

Dear Kris:

I wear.. uhh... boxers-briefs? They all grey, I think.

Homer: Paper or Plastic?

From Lola

Dear Lola:

I don't... you know... do the food shopping that much, but I think... ahh... in the 80's when the Wings were, uh you know... not so good, the fans they wore plastic bags on their heads. So for sure I say paper now

Homer: Who has the best beard?

From Kris

Hello Again Kris:

Lets see... ah... Cleary got a good one, and Kris Draper because, you know, he look like Chuck Norris and he got a full red thick one going on in the... ah playoffs. Hank has a good one, too. Mine feels just disgusting, but... ahh... you gotta do what you gotta do, you know?

Homer: Do you like Huey Lewis & the News?

From Norm

Hi Norm:

Ahhh... do I like Huey Lewis & the News? Yah, for sure. Uhh... who doesn't, you know? I listen to everything but... ehh... country. I like the big butts song; ahh... “Baby Got Back” I think? Yah, that's a good one, but, uhh... Huey Lewis is good too.

Homer: What is the most dangerous part of having a candy addiction?

From Sara

Hello Sara:

I love candy! I do... ahh... worry sometime that I might choke on my candy during warmups for sure, so I have to be, you know... extra careful. I try to once eat some jolly rancher candy during a game, but... ehh... they kept get stuck in my mouth guard. So... yah, I just gotta be careful to not choke.  

Homer: Why is it that I have nightmares about your backside nearly every day?

From an anonymous NHL goalie

Dear Goalie:

Hehe, Fleury? Is that you?

If you have a question for me, uh, you can leave me a note and... ahh... I'll try to do Q + A again for sure. For now I need to have my oatmeal and sandwich, and get ready for game against, ehh, the Blackhawks.

Till next time,

Homer!

Windy City Hotel Time

Me and the other guys always like playing in Chicago, ahh, yeah. Good rivalry with close team, you know. Trip isn't so far from families, which is nice, for sure.

We're resting in hotel now b/c tomorrow is a big game, for sure. I share a room with Mule. He always..ahh...try to take the little... uhhhh... soaps and lotions... ya know, the small ones wrapped up in paper? But I need them to, you know, get ready before game.

I think I saw him, take a handful from the, ahh... the cart pushed by the ladies who clean up the rooms, you know? I'm not sure he shoulda do that. But the shampoo, you know, it smells like... ah, almonds. And that is very nice smell, for sure.

Last Game

Taking the plane over to Chicago, getting ready for Blackhawks. They have good team. Babs wants full 60. I tell him I give him 96!! hahahaha.

I Make Other Team Whine Again :)

I read article in the paper today. Ahhhhhh…seems BJs don’t like how I play in Office. One say to paper that my play is disturbing hahahahahahaha. People are always saying I interfere with goalie’s job. Yah, I’m in the crease sometimes for sure, but I have job to do too! It goes both ways, you know. We have many important goals called back because referees imagine I am in crease. Uhhhhhh…Don’t think they get how hard it is to do job! Nobody seems to understand me, you know? I battle with defenders, shots flying at me ahhhhh very fast, many cross-checks ALL the time, must fight for position against big strong men—sometimes it is too much for one Homer to handle. Still, I know I have to stay out of crease to make challenge for refs to call it for sure. Ahhhhh funny how no one on other team complains when they get away with dozen cross-checks in a row on my back….

I keep going to net, though for sure. No worries, fans, I still do job and make goalies cry nightmares in sleep. Much excited for playoffs and introducing enemy goalie to backside.

Till next time,
Homer!!!

Ahhhh

Today we... you know... played the Blue Jackets... for sure.

And ahhhhhh... we won.

And Jimmy got a shut out, for sure, ya know?

We play ah, not so good.