Ask Homer more!

Hello fans of Homer! It very nice to be, ah... back home at Detroit! We win very, you know... excited game last night with, uh... Phoenix, so it very funny for me to write you today! Mrs. Homer and me, we, ah... take the childrens to eat curly fries at, uh... the Arby's when I get home from Hank's hattricks which is nice. I think Hank should be always buying dinner, because, you know... he make more money than I do, and he, ah... don't have his kids yet, for sure.  

Here a few questions that the, ah... fans email to answer by me.

Dear Homer: Your "office" at the Joe is probably your favorite, but do you have a special "office" in any other arena?

--For sure, you know...ah...I feel like we play in Pittsburgh almost as much as we play home...uh, you know...the last few years. I used to like play in Chicago, you know, because Khabibulin and I... ah.. shared office there. You know, I think he didn't... eh... like it as much as, you know... I do.

Dear Homer: Do Swedish fish have bones; and are the bones also made out of candy so I can eat them without worrying?

--You know, ah... Swedish fish... they, uh... aren't fish really. No bones in the Swedish candy that I... uh know. For sure, I think, uh... you're ok to eat whole fishes. I wouldn't worry, you know?

Dear Homer: Do you ask your wife "do these pants make my butt look big?" and then dress for games accordingly?

--For sure, sometime I feel like, ah... my butt look kind of, you know... large. Everyone want to look, ah... you know, nice while they work. Usually, I uh...ask Drapes or, you know... Nick, because my wife, ah... she laugh at me.

Homer: What's your favorite ABBA song to karaoke to?

--Hard to pick, for sure, you know? In Sweden, everybody love ABBA! My favorite is, ah... you know, Dancing Queen, but I no sing it very, eh... good, you know? Sometime at parties, Hank and me... we sing, ah... Fernando. Nick always trying to get me to, ah... sing... with him Mamma Mia, you know... duets? So it hard to pick, for sure. I like them all a lots.

 Dear Homer: What kind of woodworking projects will you be attempting this summer??

--For sure, I don't like to, ah... too own horns, but, uh... I pretty good at working wood. I don't get to do as much as, ah... when I lived home in, you know... Sweden, but I've got some pretty plans for the summer. At home, I make bird house, ah... furniture, and stuffs for Mrs. Homer to use in the house. These are some of the, uh... projects I think doing this year (I hope you likes them!):

Picture frame, for, ah... your pictures, you know? (That not my horse.) 

 

A box for putting uh... jewels in.

A little house, maybe? 

Hoping see everyone tomorrow at the Joe Louis!

Homer! 

1-1 Series and Curlyfries

Hello fans of 96!!!! Maybe you are sleeping after lateness of Wings victory, for sure. Ahh, that game look not-so-good for beginnings but we pull out major split in series and score many goals. (None goals with my end, though.) I make one point in the aiding of Pavel, for sure, but all weterans step up and make big plays. And young Abby, you know, who spend much time in Grand Rapids made several hit and, ah, real good goal. Two goal for Val and hattrick for Zata, for sure, bring all Detroit fanbase much happiness. (And curlyfried potato, you know!!!)

Tomorrow Coyotes come to our Joe Louis Arena, for sure. Is nice, ah, to play them in our building. As well, ah, all Phoenix player who come to Detroit should go get curlyfries with boxscore!!! Team bus could stop at one of local Arby's locations and all could go wait in line for tasty eatings! If I saw I would laugh and laugh hahahahahahaha!!!!

See U later Homerfans,


Homer

I make bet with u

I make bet with Nick and also with Nik and also with Mule, I score goal tonight off  butt. Lills says "u" not "you" is way to spell it on web. I ahhhh, not so sure.  But, U think I can do it?  Score goal. Maybe on boxplay.  I can, for sure.

Stupid Rumors

Good morning to fans in Detroit and, you know... ah... all over the place!

Yesterday was nice day; ah... weather here in Arizona is, you know... very nice. We get to play our, eh... soccer practicing outside. It, you know... remind me of going out after, ah, lunch... during school... you know, recess? And, you know... there a lots of uh... Wings fans here, so eh... that's real nice to us, too, for sure.

I was on phone before, ah... practice yesterday with friend, you know... at home... and he tell me that, ah... people saying that Blues gonna try to get me, ah... during summer to come play for them, you know... next season? I hope nobody, ah... you know... believe that crap. I not gonna, ah... leave Detroit. I like being, eh... Red Wings, and you know, my family, uh... they like it here a lot, and I get to play with, ah... my best friend Nick, you know? Do they even have, uh... ice festival in St. Louis? And you know, Ozzie tell me that it, uh... really hard to get candy there.

Tonight we have, ah... game two with Phoenix, for sure. Why they throw, you know... rubber snake?

Till next time,

Homer!

Goal Scored, but Game Lost

I worry earlier today because NHL issued memo warning about goalie interference. Every playoff they send warning meant for me and we lose goals because I have ahhhhh “reputation.” I don’t think it is fair, you know, but I find way to do job in Office anyway. Then ahhhhh first powerplay of series is for goalie interference. But it is against Phoenix. I laugh very hard at this for sure. But then I take penalty on powerplay. Lucky that Coyote goes off with me so we still have advantage.

Also I score goal. Hahahaha, I watch tape during intermission, and have no idea how it went in net. I don’t score on shots that way often, you know. Ahhh, feel very good though to start playoff scoring.

Ahhhh, sad that Coyotes come back to win game. We need to play better next game, for sure. Phoenix leads series now, but there is still much time to make series win.

Sincerely,
Homer

White Out?

I have been reading on internet so much talk of this, ahhh, 'White Off' in the stands at jobber.com arena here in, you know, Phoenix. I don't understand this because ahhhh we will be the team wearing white for sure!

Time for morning skate. Hopefully there is no snakes, you know? Hahah!

Homer big in Canada!!!

I hear they say my name on the TSN tv of Canada, for sure. They say referees, ah, they going to look for my end in the crease doing interfering. That is always concerning for me, aah, when they say Homer doing interfering when it's not there. But I am veteran with the ass end, ah, and make good plays from Office with no interference. (One goal for sure this year came from way back by blue line!! I waited for seeing officials try to call that for interference of goalie.)

Now is time for sleeping before HUGE Game 1 tomorrow, though, for sure.

Thanks for you good fans reading,


Homer

P.S. What is all this talk of casting the snake?